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Aerypear

Digital Artist
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This started back when DA was completely changing how they were operating. I believe back in 2018-2019 I saw this change occurring. I saw this website try and breathe new life into itself in all the wrong ways. The change began with making Core essentially pointless in purchasing for me. So I quit my Core subscription. Negated people's want for unique Discord profiles, a niche way of organizing their folders; instead features that were a given were locked behind this new system. Being able to just introduce yourself in a unique way became a "Paid" option.


With the stance on NFT and other such nonsense, I watched from a distance apprehensively. This site that was a wonderful thing to me when I was younger and helped me shape my artistic appreciation and hunger to improve was now actively about Profit and Margins instead of the voices of their creators.


Artificial Intelligence Art is where I draw the Line. I have left a handful of works, fanworks, behind, but effective immediately I will no longer be posting personal works or self portraits unless Deviant Art walks back from this choice. Artists are looking for safety from AI, not inclusion.


The site has served it's purpose when I was a child, but no longer. Enjoy the Fanart I suppose if I even think to post it. Which is possibly not at all. In the event I don't, Goodbye, take care. I'm on Twitter now-a-days @/aerypear and tumblr with the same handle.

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     I will be doing a revamp to my DeviantArt. Editing, Fixing and Reorganizing my themes, Gallery and how I proceed further in the future.


     For me, I think another chapter in life has finally come to a close. Another in the booklet ripped out, with the possibility of a rekindling of an old friendship depending on how the month goes for them. I am eager to see how they think they have further improved themselves while apprehensive because the past doesn't easily go away for me. However, they are eager to fix things, and while I thought myself to never be ready, I'm certainly not going to deny someone's want to try.


     The subtle shift in friendships that has occurred since April has left me exhausted, on edge, and needless to say; a little too eager to have some normalcy back. What better way to prevent myself from settling for normalcy than to throw myself into further changing of things. (After all, can't get too complacent and make the wrong decision.)


     The introflective part of me is noticing that back in the years 2012-2015, I had allowed my state of loneliness to allow people who only had their best interests in mind when engaging the world to become close friends of mine and to leech off of me. All of them in various different ways and all of them I had grown accustomed to making excuses to validate their various behaviors instead of thinking what was best for me. I have not shed all of these people from my life. Many of them I have allowed back in my life once I saw evidence of growth and change. I often still find myself in the stance of having to be the one to let go of people. The one who's beat up and bruised at the pause of friendships or the subsequent end of them when things are too far gone to fix and rekindle.


     Often I pondered if people who were too far gone from me to ever reforge a friendship with look upon me with disdain, if only because I stand at this stance of the one who distanced myself from others or set it down in clear language to be understood the wrongs I have personally felt. If they think I take upon a holier than thou stance in life. It's easier to laugh off such thoughts with "Then did they ever truly know me?" while proceeding to a different task, but the fact of the matter is; They did not know me well enough to realize my own faults. No human is perfect after all and we all strive to be our better selves, or at least that is the mindset I apply to myself.


     The people who have come back into my life as friends again, I cherish and I'm glad they took what I said and used it. I'm glad that some of these people have gotten to know me better and build a stronger friendship that allows the ease of communication. My pride and joy for them is immeasurable, especially the circumstances that were occurring in my life when they first met me that may have triggered mistreatment. Of course, problems in a relationship are rarely one sided, and if there was a problem with one side, it was likely a feedback loop of a problem that was occuring thanks to the other side. Often I find it traces back to my unwillingness to hurt others with countering opinions, and my want to people please. A trait I tend to struggle to drop when faced with stress and anxiety that is used and abused by others. This, however, doesn't validate the response I receive due to this trait.


     Overall, this is my headspace at the moment, and I'm sorry if communication cripples because I have found it a necessity to throw myself into busying work to help as a relaxer and a form of aware alert.


Keep life on Aers,
Ærinn



Created by KathleenMitch
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